Dear Riley,
I apologize for not having written any letter to you for years, ever since that psychologist said it was no longer necessary, a few months after you were gone.
But I had so much on my mind lately, I cannot keep the whole thing to myself, yet I do not want to bother anyone with such a burden.

Wherever you are, maybe you know I spent this very odd year in eastern Africa, doing some research with my team -whom I never heard from since then. We eventually made a discovery that might have the potential to weaken all the Death Eaters and the dark doctrine spreading out there... But I got frightened of the consequences and I withdrew. Now it feels like a betrayal to your memory, and to this day, I still wonder if it was the right thing to do.

I learned a couple of weeks ago that my research supervisor had been murdered. I have no idea if my former team mates encountered the same fate, but every time I take a step outside, I cannot help wondering if my heart will still be beating by the end of the day.

Before that, I used to be a good person. A very regular, unsurprising, but happy man. I should have been engaged by now, squabbling over baby names with my fiancée ; I would have achieved my studies and maybe, who knows, be a teacher.

Instead, I am up all night drinking in the village pub with some drunkards and sleeping all day, missing my classes, and not having the slightest idea of what my subject of Ultimum will be, although the deadline is approaching dangerously.
I even bought a potion from that disreputable boy -in other words, I cheated- in order to provide me a genius idea for my Ultimum. But it only gave me an unbearable headache, and I threw the rest to the sink ; I guess this kind of potion does not work well with a dehydrated brain.

On the bright side, I now have Teagan back by my side. She seems rather unhappy, too. But you know her, she won't ever let you know, and she will keep on smiling as if she had no other choice. She is so much stronger than I am, sometimes this amazes me.

And also, there is this new sparkle in the dark. Her name is Paxton. I suppose I should have noticed her at Hogwarts, then at the university in London, but I never did, until I needed her. I have to admit she is such a relief. She may be tough sometimes, but in a way, she understands me better than anyone does. She makes me feel comfortable. I am not sure what to expect, but I do not want to overthink the one thing that makes me feel truly good.

I am convinced she would have loved you. Everyone did. You were such
a sunshine.
Even if you are not here physically, it curiously makes me feel better,
writing to you. I just need to picture your smile, your sharp mind and your
funny comebacks. I honestly believe you should have been the one
remaining down there, to bring this world some brightness to hang to,
rather than me.

I miss you deeply.
I hope you are happy where you are.

Your "Quinnausorus"-